Who Am I?

The following piece is an excerpt from my book, “Word, From Your Mother,” a daily guidance journal written for my children, Liv and Pierce-Gabriel. 

Excerpt #57

Who are you? Better yet, address this question to yourself every once in a while, this way: Who am I? What you identify with shouldn’t be your story. For example, “I’m Nettie Vaughan, Inclusion Facilitator…I have 2 kids, I’m married…I like to jump out of planes (just kidding on that one). Your story is not who you really are. 

I’m referring to the essence of your being. If we think about this question in a grander scheme, we can refer to consciousness. We are conscious. As Deepak Chopra puts it in words, so eloquently, we are existence, experience, and awareness. In other words, we are limitless and eternal with no beginning or end. 

There is no such thing as time, in the sense of past or future, when we hone in on who we really are. At some point, you will awaken from the dream, the story you have made, which has formed an identity. Be aware…you are not your story. 

Throw away any illusions about who you think you are now, right down to your name identity. None of that is the real you. Radically refuse to believe any mind stuff that you’ve created about “your life.” It is not your life to live. You, as a material body, are a vehicle for your soul. This is the part of you that moves around. You are not the experiencer; you are the experience. 

This may be difficult to understand. I’m not sure I can find the words to articulate it or translate this more clearly to you. If you genuinely desire to awaken to who you really are, you must deny the story you’re creating about yourself. Some teachers describe this as the drama, the play you write and perform each day about who you think you are. It is all false. 

It is what spiritual teachers call the veil—the veil that masks awareness. To tap into your true essence, you need to be still and quiet. You can try meditation, guided imagery, and other forms of “tapping in;” however, stillness and quietness are what let things naturally unfold. 

You must be thinking, “Mom, you are never still.” Let me clarify, you can move about and also be still at the same time. I often find serenity in movement. My best moments of stillness (tapping into the deep peace within) have been in the company of nature—while hiking, kayaking, etc., with nothing around me but the sites and sounds at the moment. The true treat during these moments is clarity and knowing, a clear understanding that we are so much more than we perceive ourselves to be. To be…being. That is our true essence. 

Deepak Chopra’s advice on awakening to who you really are is to steer away or stop focusing on your story. He stated that by focusing on your story, “you are building up a drawer of dead letters.” I like this analogy because it holds true.