The following piece is an excerpt from my book, “Word, From Your Mother,” a daily guidance journal written for my children, Liv and Pierce-Gabriel.
You are enough. I was listening to Marissa Peer this morning. She’s a famous psychologist who has helped many people overcome addictions. Her message is to know that you are “enough.” A common thread that she’s noticed in those having addictions is that they feel as though they’re not enough. Therefore, they fill-up the void with an addiction.
She stated that addictions replace bad feelings with something that “feels good,” but is not necessarily good for the person who is suffering.
Marissa gave an example of a young man who had met his father in teenage-hood after having been abandoned as a baby and young child. His father showed up when he was seventeen to proclaim him, “a man.” He then proceeded to take his son to a bar to get him to drink with other men. This episode caused him to become quite drunk. He, therefore, began to associate being a man with drinking.
As a result, the young man associated closeness to his dad with getting drunk. Unfortunately, he carried that perception or inner dialogue into adulthood resulting in alcoholism. He couldn’t realize that he was enough in the absence of having a father.
I’ve suffered through several addictions during my life. Fortunately, I had to strength and intuition to overcome them with lots of help and support. Eventually, I realized that addiction was a way to avoid the painful feelings that were within my heart.
Did you know that your own negative thoughts can trigger addictive behavior? Negative self-talk triggers my desire to overeat. For example, I might be thinking about a problem that I can’t solve which leads me to believe I’m “not smart enough to solve it.” All of a sudden, I’m reaching for chips.
Instead of believing the thought that triggers a bad habit, transmute it and redirect it. How do you transmute the thought? Go for a better feeling thought!
Here’s a common negative thought, “I hate my job.” Transmute that thought to, “at least I have a job.” How about: “I like the people I work with” or, “I’m surrounded by nice people who have good intentions.”
If you’re feeling that you’re not enough, know that you’re either thinking about the past or worrying about the future. If you let negative thoughts take over, it may manifest into an addiction. Be mindful of your inner dialogue and your perceptions. Be the bystander of your thoughts.
Tell yourself, “I am enough.” Life is beautiful…and above all things, love yourself.