The following piece is an excerpt from my book, “Word, From Your Mother,” a daily guidance journal written for my children, Liv and Pierce-Gabriel.
Are you feeling stressed out about anything today? School and college can be overwhelming at times; I get it. I know that I often express to both of you that it is good and healthy to put a reasonable effort into your learning. I hope you’ve listened even more to my other, more important message. Your grades don’t define who you are. They are just an indicator of something you may or may not have learned. That is all. They are what they indicate.
Today, I was trying to recall a quote by spiritual leader Jiddu Krishnamurthi. I heard this quote through one of Eckart Tolle’s lectures. To be precise in my delivery to you, I looked it up. He stated, “I don’t mind what happens. That is the essence of inner freedom. It is a timeless spiritual truth: release attachment to outcomes, deep inside yourself, you’ll feel good no matter what.” I repeat an abbreviation of this quote when I’m stressing out about a result or an outcome. For example, it’s been incredibly frustrating to wait for others to try to decide a given situation. It takes all my might not to interject my “preferences” into the decision-making.
My role as a facilitator is to help my teams but not make the decisions for them. Ninety percent of the time, I have a clear vision of where a team’s decision will land them. It frustrates me to no end when I know it’s not the right choice, but I keep my mouth shut. I try not to judge. I keep my breathing steady, and I repeat this mantra consistently, “I don’t mind what happens.”
For a while, I was misquoting this! I was saying, “I don’t care what happens.” Well, that holds a different tone. It seems a bit negative. Henceforth, I will correct it to “I don’t mind.” I don’t mind what the outcome is. Why? Because it doesn’t matter. Focusing on an outcome points to satisfy the ego. How will this or that decision affect me? What do I get out of it? That decision will make me look bad. They don’t know what they’re doing; I do. See what I’m getting at?
By releasing your attachment to an outcome, you surrender to what is. You are living in the present moment. It’s a difficult practice but worth your awareness. The next time you are stressed, worried, or become attached to a preferred outcome, state, “I don’t mind what happens.” It is a curious and effective little mantra that I highly recommend. As in the words of Krishnamurthi, “you’ll feel good no matter what.”